Who is Bradley Philip Detchevery ?

Brad's Point of View:

First and foremost, I am a planner. I am a strong believer in the adage, those who fail to plan, plan to fail (Robert Schueller). My plans do not always work out the way I intend, but I have found that, normally, they work out the way should. I am also a firm believer in Garth Brooks "unanswered prayers", many of the things I have accomplished in my life so far come from prayers that didn't quite work out. For as long as I can remember, I have been developing plans and setting goals for everything I do. This probably comes from the advice of my mother who always tried to keep me from procrastinating and who tried to teach me that I will never get ahead by leaving things to the last minute. The truth is I feel quite lost if I do not know where I am heading. I have worked with several people who do not share my beliefs in having a plan and frequently put things off to the last minute. They tell me it 'excites' and 'motivates' them but I've often wondered how they can get through each day without feeling lost and confused.

The second important thing to understand about me is my understanding of the learning process. I believe anyone can learn anything given enough time and perseverance. This seems to contradict many people who I have met who often give up on others or impose 'labels' that simply are not true. I am not saying that everyone can be an expert at everything, but everyone has the capacity to understand something about everything. I learn mostly by reading and applying information. I think I originally learned this technique from my father. When I was younger and preparing for a test for school, my parents had completely different ways of helping me prepare. My mother always asked me questions from the material and expected a 'memorized' response. My father made up questions and didn't really care about memorization but was more concerned that I understood what the material meant and how it applied to the 'real world'. In the end I think it was this latter view that started my thirst for learning. Today if I don't know how to do something my first instinct is to pick up a book (e.g.: the owners manual, or one of the ‘Dummies’ books) read it, then try to figure out what it means and then try to do it (again and again) until I understand the concept and can move on to something else. I have an aptitude for computer design and programming, I can learn and apply new concepts in very quickly. My ability to work outside of this area is dependant on how well I can make analogies of the new material to something else I already know. I have found the education system rather cumbersome because I had to sit through hours and hours of lectures on various topics that in the end I could have learned simply by reading the various material and trying things out for myself. In fact, my attendance record in university was probably poor because this is exactly what I did most of the time, using the professors as 'tools' to help me understand only those things that I I had difficultly figuring out alone. In this way, my learning process never ends; I am always picking up books and trying new things I find this both challenging and exciting.

My third important belief, which often rubs people the wrong way, is my application of the theory of inter-personal relationships (Event + Response = Outcome). In a nutshell, I believe each and every person is RESPONSIBLE for his/her responses to events that occur. I live my life with a firm understanding that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt or harm another person. Sometimes I heard people say things like "Joe made me feel bad", or "I'm angry because of what Jack said", or sometimes they lash out and start a big argument because of how one person hurt another. I suggest human beings are responsible to choose their response. This is not to say that we can control our feelings, sometimes we may feel upset, hurt, or angry when someone makes a statement. However, we can still choose a response rather then just gush out the first insult that comes to our mind in retaliation. If someone says something to me, that might be offensive, I first try to repeat the statement back to the speaker in my own words to ensure I understand the message and the intent that went behind it. I then try to choose a response that will help us to reach a synergistic solution or simply agree to disagree and leave the problem alone. Those individuals who choose to intentionally hurt others have not yet reached maturity in my opinion and therefore have not earned the same rights and privileges as those that choose to do no harm. Related to this concept is the idea of an emotional bank account (Stephen Covey). Each time we choose our actions with the intend of helping others we are making deposits in that individuals 'emotional bank account'. If we build up enough deposits and inadvertently say or do something harmful this is a withdrawal from the bank account. We should never start off a new relationship by making immediate withdrawals if we attempt to succeed at our personal goals.

My final core belief is about change. I believe that normally a peron will change his/her beliefs only when the pain of staying the same exceeds the pain of changing (David B. Wolfe). My favorite analogy is the house of cards. Imagine that each thing you 'know' or 'believe' is represented by a card. This card is used to support a 'house of cards' in your mind. Changing a belief requires you to move that card away from your house of cards. The closer that card is to destroying the foundation (i.e.: you card house will fall down) the more reluctant you will be to change your view or belief. I change my beliefs when confronted with a sound and valid argumen. I always strive to be willing to knock all of my cards down IF AND ONLY when a valid sound argument is made. I strive to NEVER change a belief on the basis of popular opinion, (i.e.: X is true because everyone believes X is true - argumentum ad populum). Arguments must first be valid before they are tested for soundness. I frequently find people in believing things based on a known logical fallacy. I am willing to have a healthy debate on any of my beliefs including these core beliefs so please feel free to comment wherever you feel it is applicable.

Respect for me is respecting my beliefs as I will respect your beliefs. Most everyway I act and behave is governed by these beliefs and the more you can understand and appreciate them, the more you will understand Brad D. :-)

Sincerely,

Brad D. :-)